too many thoughts

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabaraktuh

Hope you are all well inshaAllah,

So its like this, since you were 14 you wanted to be a teacher and that was your goal in life. You took inspiration from some beautiful teachers around you,who did the job so well and you had also hoped that you too can be like them and share that energy,quirkiness and confidence. You even told your teacher you wanted to do what they did and so after the initial shock they provided you with the neccesary information. You had dreamt that in few years time you would be in front of that classroom inspiring many-you'd even had your outfit planned.

So you go along in life and go through your compulsary education, go through college and then university. You take a year out to think about what your next move is and then you go on to get a teaching qualification (sort of). You perhaps didn't think it through properly as much as you should have and ended up with the wrong type of qualification and need to further study to get a qualified status. You try a hand at teaching anyway and though its hardwork,demanding and low paid (at certain institutions) you love doing it, when it goes right you glow from within. This goes on for some time and you have to analyse once again what your next move is. This is when it hits you, do you still have the same ambition? Would a profession in mainstream teaching suit you? Do you have the organisation skills, the ability to control a group of 30 or so teenagers with raging hormones? Is it worth having a profession where alot of your personal time will be taken in planning,marking and preparing and anything else under the sun? Yes, your intentions were noble, you had wanted to make a difference in people's life, get satisfaction from your job and a legacy behind. You also think of your future children, a teaching job would not only allow you to get get school holidays with them but you want to make them proud of their mummy. Thier mummy didn't just chase good pay, she made a contribution to the society they live in and she did something she loved.

You think if its possible of other pathways you could take to still have a fulfilling job yet it doesn't take your personal time as much. It may be possible, you think , working with youth or community projects can have the same satisfaction. The jobs are paid better and once its time to go home you leave work behind, it wont come home with you in the form of marking piles and lesson plans.

Your heads almost spinning at this point and your not sure what route to take, you perform ablution, find a quiet moment, take out your prayer mat and prostrate. You seek counsel with your Lord, who has created you and knows you better than yourself. You know that once you have sought His guidance you'll be ok. His got your back. Alhamdulillah. (Praise be to God)

Please refer to du'a for istikhara in Hisnul Muslim or simialr du'a books for the actual supllication and ettiquettes.

May Allah always take care of our affairs and not leave us dealing with our own affairs, not even for a blink of an eye ameen.

wasalam

please do remember me and the ummah in du'as

P.s The Credits for photos go toa budding new artist aka my 4 year old nephew.