So its like this, since you were 14 you wanted to be a teacher and that was your goal in life. You took inspiration from some beautiful teachers around you,who did the job so well and you had also hoped that you too can be like them and share that energy,quirkiness and confidence. You even told your teacher you wanted to do what they did and so after the initial shock they provided you with the neccesary information. You had dreamt that in few years time you would be in front of that classroom inspiring many-you'd even had your outfit planned.
So you go along in life and go through your compulsary education, go through college and then university. You take a year out to think about what your next move is and then you go on to get a teaching qualification (sort of). You perhaps didn't think it through properly as much as you should have and ended up with the wrong type of qualification and need to further study to get a qualified status. You try a hand at teaching anyway and though its hardwork,demanding and low paid (at certain institutions) you love doing it, when it goes right you glow from within. This goes on for some time and you have to analyse once again what your next move is. This is when it hits you, do you still have the same ambition? Would a profession in mainstream teaching suit you? Do you have the organisation skills, the ability to control a group of 30 or so teenagers with raging hormones? Is it worth having a profession where alot of your personal time will be taken in planning,marking and preparing and anything else under the sun? Yes, your intentions were noble, you had wanted to make a difference in people's life, get satisfaction from your job and a legacy behind. You also think of your future children, a teaching job would not only allow you to get get school holidays with them but you want to make them proud of their mummy. Thier mummy didn't just chase good pay, she made a contribution to the society they live in and she did something she loved.
You think if its possible of other pathways you could take to still have a fulfilling job yet it doesn't take your personal time as much. It may be possible, you think , working with youth or community projects can have the same satisfaction. The jobs are paid better and once its time to go home you leave work behind, it wont come home with you in the form of marking piles and lesson plans.
Your heads almost spinning at this point and your not sure what route to take, you perform ablution, find a quiet moment, take out your prayer mat and prostrate. You seek counsel with your Lord, who has created you and knows you better than yourself. You know that once you have sought His guidance you'll be ok. His got your back. Alhamdulillah. (Praise be to God)
Please refer to du'a for istikhara in Hisnul Muslim or simialr du'a books for the actual supllication and ettiquettes.
May Allah always take care of our affairs and not leave us dealing with our own affairs, not even for a blink of an eye ameen.
please do remember me and the ummah in du'as
P.s The Credits for photos go toa budding new artist aka my 4 year old nephew.
Lately I've been rather stressed over a few things in my life and I ask you all to please make du'a for me and my family. But that lead me to think about some of life's simple things that gives me pleasure , I love a simple life. So I'm sitting here on a sunny, Sunday afternoon making the following list: (in no particular order)
* Animals but particularly baby animals(kittens, chicks, lambs,)
* The smell of freshly washed clothes
* Newly made bed
*Walking barefoot on sand or grass
* Watching a surise or sunset
*A funny or cute text
*Looking through magazines for recipes
* A cool, refreshing drink on a warm, sunny day
*Seeing my parent relax
* Colourful, bright flowers especially in a beautiful garden
* A nice walk in the park with the birds, or by the sea or through country fields
*Smell of perfume oils
* Bike rides
* A lovely evening breeze
*Seeing my parents laugh or relax
*My nephew when he says 'I love you'
*Eating fruit or veg from my garden
* Watching snow
I've left out acts of worship as I wanted to keep that personal inshaAllah, between me and my Lord . This has been fun might carry it on sometime inshaAllah :-)
Yesterday I got to meet someone special from blogland mashaAllah! I was at a conference and was looking at the doorway where a face looked very familiar to me so I started thinking 'where have a seen this face before?' then I realised it was on a blog... and the person was no other than White African !!! Check her blog over at: (ok i cant seem to put the link up check out my bloglist on the side)
As she passed me I was assalamu alaikum and started to smile, then I realised she wouldn't know who I am duh! So I quickly tried to introduce myself, 'I'm eternal peace'. Later that afternoon we were in the same workshop and was able to chat mashaAllah. The workshop itself was wonderful and we got share many laughs aswell as tears.
White African sis I'm not sure if you get to read this but if you do then mashaAllah I'm really glad to have met you, though I hadn't met you before it was like I already knew somewhat due to your blog. Meeting online friends in 'real life' is a topic for another post really theres just so much in it! May Allah love you sis and all the other wonderful blogger friends ameen
Hope everyone is well inshaAllah, the easter holidays have started and this takes me back 10 years during this time when I decided to finally wear the headscarf outside my house. I decided its time I share my hijaab story.
I had been pondering for about a year or so before about covering my hair with a headscarf, I knew it was something that I should do to please my Lord yet I still couldn't face all my friends and teachers at school with it on. Though I went to a school with a Muslim majority where a lot of girls wore the headscarf I still thought people will think I'm a different person. I worried that once i wore it there was no going back. That was it. From now people will see my heard wrapped in a scarf whether it be at school, at family gatherings, weddings. I thought the headscarf would overshadow every occasion and event I went to. It was something that my Madressah teacher also pushed me towards, though looking back i'm not sure if that was a right approach or not but it was definatley a factor that effected my decision in wearing the headscarf. So every morning I used to get up,get ready for school and say to myself 'today is the day' but I remember bailing out a few times, until one day I kept it on and walked to school. My best friend was overjoyed as she wore it and encouraged me towards it aswell, other people gave me encouragement and some teachers asked why I did so. Before and also during the holidays was a taster for me in wearing the headscarf but after the holidays it was here to stay.
Since then I wore the headscarf to school, school trips, out shopping, school award evenings. I did take it off during one school trip to London I remember and this brother while walking past gave salaam to my friend who wore a headscarf, I was gutted he didn't offer me salaam and knew he would have if I wore the scarf as I would have been a visible Muslim.
My hijaab went through many phases, it all started with the headscarf (note so far I have called it a headscarf rather than hijaab because looking back I feel I didn't meet all the requirements of hijaab) I continued to wear my jeans and short tops and felt as long as I was covered and had a headscarf I was fine. Also during family gatherings and weddings the headscarf became non existant, as when I used to get ready and look around most of my relatives didn't have it on and so I too took it off. Though my school friends and teachers knew me as wearing hijaab the sad fact was that alot of relatives and family friends didn't associate it with me as they never saw me with it unless they had seen me out shopping! Alhamdulillah through Allah's guidance I slowly began to realise what I had been doing was wrong and it was during my university years that my external hijaab started to change. I started to look deeper at the deen and I have to say mashaAllah Islam channel,Isoc events and some great sisters contributed greatly towards it. I now started to wear the hijaab when I should,(when non mahrams visited my house, mixed weddings, family gatherings),at this point i started wearing longer tops,tunics and looser trousers. Gradually my take on modestly had developed until I started wearing an abayah and i still do most of the time. Though I know the abayah is not the only modest way to dress it did the job for me mashaAllah, it was so convenient for me as I could just pull it over what I was wearing and wear any colour scarf on top,grab my jacket and bag and I was ready to go. When I first started wearing a headscarf I mostly wore black square scarves as they were readily avaialable and matched my school uniform. Right now in my wardrobe my scarves are in so many different colours, I have black,red,white,cream,beige,gold,pink,blue,green,purple,lilac,grey,brown,silver as now alhamdulillah scarves of every design and colour are available in mainstream shops aswell as Islamic. The hijaab and jilbaab industry has grown quite rapidly over the yearss and I notice more and more sisters taking on the hijaab-Alhamdulillah.
I have realised how long this post has been so i'll end here inshaAllah but before I do a point I want to make is that I understand I have discussed my journey through donning the external hijaab only but this is not to undermine the status of the hijaab in our character and how we interact with people and our humblness before our Creator, I pray Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'la increases our understanding in both types of hijaab(external and internal), may He grant us modestly,humbleness, accept our deeds and forgive our wrongdoings aameen.